As reported earlier, John Kerry went hunting for waterfowl earlier today. Reporters were not allowed on the hunt and they reported hearing no shots fired. Yet, Kerry emerged from the killing fields with his fellow hunters. Two of the hunters carried dead birds reportedly shot by Kerry.
We have determined the birds were not shot. They, in fact, died of heart failure. It seems that one of the hunters referred to Kerry as the future president and the birds dropped dead.
Even Mother Nature knows what a disaster a Kerry presidency would be.