The Day Obama Care Died

This is a funny video with music by Paul Shanklin.

Now that is funnier than Stewart Smalley could ever be.

Big Dog

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60 Injured in India Over Stupidity

More than 60 people were injured when protests broke our in India over some remarks made about a winner of the “Indian Idol” contest. Evidently, a radio show host made an ethic slur concerning the winner:

The violence broke out Friday when supporters of Prashant Tamang, the recent winner of the TV singing competition, took to the streets of Siliguri, a town in the eastern state of West Bengal, to protest what they perceived as a radio show host’s ethnic slur against Tamang, said state police official R.J.S. Nalwa. Tamang is an Indian citizen of Nepalese origin. Yahoo News

Immediately after the ethnic slur was aired Pashda Sharpton and Deshie Jackson arrived with a crowd to protest the slur. They then blamed President Bush for the slur and asked the Justice Department to investigate this incident to see why American Idol winners are not the brunt of ethnic jokes.

Pashda and Deshie then bought a bunch of cheesy beads for their cab driver friends in the US and left. Said Sharpton; “Well no one was killed as I like to see it but more than 60 were hurt. Chalk this one up as a good protest. Where to now?”

Jackson tried to rhyme his disgust with the incident but he could not find Indian words he knew and they did not rhyme with anything. Jackson then started slapping his hand over his mouth yelling woo, woo, woo and hopping on one foot. He was quickly reminded that he was invoking North American Indians and that if he did not stop he would be arrested for being stupid in public (he would be in jail for life already if that were a real charge).

Big Dog

Liberals Read While Conservatives Work to Support Them

Extreme liberal and former member of Congress Pat Schroeder responded to a poll that indicated those who consider themselves liberal read more books than those who consider themselves conservative. I can not comment on that poll because I do not know anything about the methodology or how scientific the study was. I can say that I read a great number of books every year as does my wife and neither of us are liberal. Schroeder though, chimed in that the reason for this is that people like Karl Rove have made conservatives only live for slogans and that slogans do not make great books. To a liberal lies make great books, witness Clinton’s thriller (that had to be read by three lawyers to ensure he did not perjure himself).

Read the rest of this entry »

History of Man and Politics

A bit of a history lesson to start off this Monday:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: (1) Liberals and (2) Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known
as girliemen.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, pilots, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production.

Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today’s lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this in the comment section. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that a link will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.

Big Dog Salute to AC.

Congressman Jefferson’s Company Contacts Me

Congressman William Jefferson, Democrat Louisiana, was involved in a bunch of illegal activities that revolved around setting up companies in Nigeria and the business involved broadband. I have been contacted by one of his employees:

Attention:

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family?,You may not understand why this mail came to you.

We have been having a meeting for the passed 7 months which ended 2 days ago with the then secretary to the UNITED NATIONS.

This email is to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONA have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$ 50,000. This includes every foriegn contractors that may have not received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to
Government probelms etc.

We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this have been agreed upon and have been signed.

You are advised to contact Mr. Jim Ovia of ZENITH BANK NIGERIA PLC, as he is our representative in Nigeria, contact him immediately for your Cheque/ International Bank Draft of USD$ 50,000. This funds are in a Bank Draft for security purpose ok? so he will send it to you and you can clear it in any bank of your choice.

Therefore, you should send him your full Name and telephone
number/your correct mailing address where you want him to send the Draft to you.

Conatct Mr. Jim Ovia immediately for your Cheque:

Person to Contact Mr. Jim Ovia
Email: mrjim0001@yahoo.com
Phone: 234 8064448

Thanks and God bless you and your family.Hoping to hear from you as soon as you cash your Bank Draft.

We are here for you 24/7.

Making the world a better place

Regards,

Mr. Kofi Annan
Former Secretary (UNITED NATIONS).
IMPORTANT GOODNEWS -UNITED NATIONS- (FIGHTING FRAUD)

The good folks at Jefferson’s company still misspelled many words and have written this very poorly, definitely a scam. He has not taught them well enough though they spoofed Yahoo email address book to deliver this message.

Another dead give away is that the UN wanted to give me money. Kofi and his thieves took all the money from the UN.

Big Dog