No College Graduates This Year

Bad news for all the young men and women who thought they were going to graduate from college this year. The federal government has taken a look at some of the statistics in college graduation rates and they have noticed that students who do little or no work, fail. When they fail they do not get credits therefore they can not graduate.

The government has come up with a plan that will help these students to graduate. The plan, based on the system of taxes in this country, will have the government take credits away from students who have earned them and give them to students who have not. This redistribution of credits will make everyone equal and make the competition for a job that much stiffer.

Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts had proposed that students from Ivy League schools be exempted from the program. This was quickly dismissed when people complained that it would only help the wealthy. The credit redistribution plan will be based upon grade point average (GPA). Those with higher GPAs will have to forfeit more credits than those with lower GPAs. Students need not worry about the details because the schools have all of their personal information. The government will automatically deduct the credits and then assist students in selecting classes that will allow them to earn more credits. Unfortunately, when they are due to graduate in the future, more credits will be taken.

Also, the rate of credit grabbing will increase over time and students will be obligated to participate. Those who ignore the plan will be investigated by the Credit Redistribution Service (CRS) and will go to jail if it is determined that a student failed to pay the credits or under paid for any given school year.

Print This Post

If you enjoy what you read consider signing up to receive email notification of new posts. There are several options in the sidebar and I am sure you can find one that suits you. If you prefer, consider adding this site to your favorite feed reader. If you receive emails and wish to stop them follow the instructions included in the email.

2 Responses to “No College Graduates This Year”

  1. “Go To War And Kill Veterans”…

    Somewhere in between there was the lunacy of her House Bill to request all documents surrounding Tupac Shakur’s murder to be made public. ???? What? As if this was a governmental conspiracy? What is it now? East Coast vs. West Wing? Whatever!


  2. Memorial Day 2006: Thank You…

    ON April 20th I noted Google’s tribute to Joan Miró by way of their specially created logo:

    Today, Memorial Day, Google could not find a notable person or event to memorialize with an artistic logo for their home page….