My Attempt to Steal the Election

Now that the election is over I can tell you how I did my part to steal the election. Yes, I am afraid I was a bit dishonest. Prior to the election there was a big push by an organization called vote pair. They hatched a scheme to reallocate votes for John Kerry. It worked like this. People who lived in battleground states, who were voting for a third party candidate, and Kerry supporters in states where Bush or Kerry were expected to win easily registered at their site. They then paired voters from those entries. The scheme is that the Kerry supporters would vote for the third party candidate in the heavily Kerry or Bush states and the third party supporters would vote for Kerry in battleground states. This reallocation of votes was suppose to help both by giving the third party candidates enough votes to get federal matching funds and help Kerry win the election.

I read about this and I felt it was improper. If you want to vote in a battleground state you should move there. I saw this as an attempt to bypass the electoral college. So I immediately signed up as a third party supporter (Nader) and said I was from Pennsylvania. PA did not turn out to be much of a battleground but it was when I signed up. Also, I live in Maryland and picked PA so I would have an idea about the place in case someone was bright enough to test the veracity of my claim.

Lo and behold I was paired with some guy named Mike in the great state of Utah. I got an email from him and he was excited. I told him how I was ready to vote for Kerry as long as he voted for my man Nader. Then, on election day I voted for George Bush happy in the knowledge that Mike wasted his vote. Drastic times call for drastic measures.

Now, for all I know he voted for Kerry but in any case it stopped vote pair from getting an extra, reallocated vote for Kerry. I find it strange that with all the conspiracy theories and whining by Michael Moore and others, that this was never mentioned as an attempt at voter fraud. I guess in retrospect, given Moore’s idiocy, I really don’t find it that strange. By the way, I highly recommend the book Michael Moore is a Stupid Fat White Man. It is a good book and exposes the fraud he is a party to each and every time he does a crocumentary.

Mike in Utah, I hope you are not crushed by Kerry’s defeat. I also hope you will consider correctly participating in the voting process the next time around. You were caught in a clandestine operation that involved more than just me. Ahh, the power of the internet.

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