It’s Time, Chris, Ted

According to page 245 of the Healthcare bill, people 65 years or older, when they might have a terminal, or possible terminal illness, should be counseled on possible procedures that might help assist the transition into another life- and we don’t mean that of a Wal- Mart greeter. Instead, these people should be counseled on possible ways to end their lives, and in that spirit, I would like to volunteer to “counsel” Chris Dodd, and Teddy Kennedy, who both have cancer, are over 65, and have one foot in the afterlife and the other on a banana peel. 

I feel  that I should remind them of all the good things…okay things….alright, fairly bad things that they have been party to, and maybe, just maybe, this might be a real good time to begin looking forward to a different “way” of looking at life, like perhaps from the point of view of a cadaver. Just think of your new constituency- more people are dead than are alive.

Why think of the possibilities- George Parr and LBJ caused an entire cemetery in Duval County to rise and vote, why couldn’t you? And these people- okay, perhaps some of them are already the dust the Bible speaks of, but the ones who are not yet crumbled will be beholden to you, because even AARP drops dead people from their subscription lists. Why, it’s as if they cease to exist- noone has their back, and they are a grossly underrepresented minority—- fine- technically, they do constitute a majority, but I am sure we can work on the fine points.

The truth is, it is time for you to go, and there are some people you could be kind enough to take with you. Senator Byrd, for example- he is truly the walking dead, and an inspiration to every zombie in the land. Helen Thomas, you could take her- after all, you might need a journalist to give you good press- oh and Ginsburg, too, just to be on the safe side- a lawyer never goes out of style.

So here’s a handful of pills- be sure and take them with a full glass of water, we wouldn’t want you to choke, or fail to take them all. Lie down, and we will play you some real nice music, with a hologram of peaceful places and soothing scenery- you know, kind of like that movie “Soylent Green”. You’ll like it.

See you on the flip side.
Blake
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If you enjoy what you read consider signing up to receive email notification of new posts. There are several options in the sidebar and I am sure you can find one that suits you. If you prefer, consider adding this site to your favorite feed reader. If you receive emails and wish to stop them follow the instructions included in the email.

7 Responses to “It’s Time, Chris, Ted”

  1. Darrel says:

    Careful readers may note that you don’t even attempt to back any of this up.

    If they were to assume this is because it’s rubbish, they would be right. No quotes, no citation, as usual.

    All nicely debunked here.

    • Blake says:

      Careful readers also may note the heading satire”- I do not feel as if I need to back anything up on this post, hence no quotes, no citation.
      Perhaps you should look more caefully , D.

      • Blake says:

        Darrel apparently has no sense of humor when it comes to his fellow socialists- pity, because they need to be laughed at more.

  2. Mike Radigan says:

    Darrel, Blake said “should” be counseled. Your reference states “mandatory”. Blake did transpose page numbers. It’s actually page 425 not 245. It’s paragraph E. Here’s the full doc:

    http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=111_cong_bills&docid=f:h3200ih.pdf

    Here’s the actual text:

    An explanation by the practitioner of the
    continuum of end-of-life services and supports available, including palliative care and hospice, and benefits for such services and supports that are available under this title.

  3. Barbara says:

    You are dense, Darrell. They are counseling you on end of life services. This does not include allowing you to have surgery or tests or anything that may prolong your life. This is murder. If I refuse medical treatment, that is my choice and not the government.