In Order to be a Democrat

The Final Days: The Last, Desperate Abuses of Power by the Clinton White HouseIn order to be a Democrat you must posses the ability to hold two opposing thoughts on the same set of circumstances. The key to success is that you actually believe that you are right in both cases and can not see the stupidity of your acts. Additionally, you must ensure that it is good when your party does it and bad when the other party does it. Here are some examples to get started:

  • You must believe and spout off as much as possible that George Bush avoided service in Vietnam by using his connections to get in the National Guard and you must scream, every chance you get, that he was AWOL. You must also believe he is a liar and that everyone else is lying when they say he volunteered to go over. However, in order to be a true Democrat you must believe that Bill Clinton was absolutely just and right when he used his connections to secure a slot in the ROTC in order to avoid service in Vietnam and then you must absolutely say that he was not trying to avoid service or the draft even though he wormed out of the ROTC when he saw his number would not come up in the lottery. In order to have complete Democratic Sainthood, you must excuse Clinton for his behavior by saying it was an unpopular war and that no one can blame him all the while castigating Bush for not serving in that same unpopular war.
  • You must absolutely believe that George Bush lied about WMD and that Hussein never had any and you must believe your elected Democrats when they tell you this. You must believe that Bush exaggerated the intelligence to trump up a war and that a preemptive war is illegal. You must also disregard the fact that every member of Congress saying Hussein had no WMD and was not a threat, said the exact opposite during the Clinton Administration and many of these people argued that Hussein needed to be removed and that he was a terrible threat. You must also believe that a preemptive strike on an aspirin factory based on a false positive nerve agent by product was not a result of faulty intelligence and had nothing to do with Clinton’s trouble at home.
  • You must believe that George Bush is a damned liar and that when he lied people died. You must hold it near and dear to your heart that George Bush has not told the truth and that the man is an insufferable liar even though he has not been caught in nor has he admitted to lying. Then, to ice the cake, you must believe that Bill Clinton deserves forgiveness for lying to a nationwide audience about having a sexual affair with “that woman” and believe he is an honest man for coming on TV and saying that he lied, after he got caught. In order to hit full fledged moonbat status you must believe that Hillary knew nothing of this affair even though she was told about it a year earlier.
  • In order to be a Democrat you must hold the belief that the Bushes have been in office too long and that they are a dynasty and yet, you must support Hillary Clinton 150% for the presidency because too many Clintons will never be a dynasty.
  • One thing that is absolutely important in order to be a Democrat is that you must believe that Michael Moore’s film F 9/11 was true. You have to disregard the fact that he filmed out of sequence and tricked people and that he used creative editing and focus only on the message. You must fall hook, line, and sinker for the story line and ignore the 59 or so factual errors of the movie and any other item that has been proven a lie. You have to believe it with all your heart and soul especially since President Bush did not go on TV and lose his mind over it, so it must be true. You must, with as much passion, not believe anything that is portrayed in The Path to 9/11 because it shows the failure of Bill Clinton so it must be wrong. Disregard the people who were there, disregard anything that shows Clinton did nothing in eight years because everyone with an elitist brain knows it all cooked up in the eight months of Bush’s presidency and that it is his fault. It must absolutely be a lie because Bill Clinton went on TV and defended his honor, but you must ignore the lies he told when defending his honor and disregard that wagging finger, he only used that once to lie and he apologized.

There, now we have a start as to what it takes to be a Democrat. There are many other examples of this kind of brain damage out there so chime in with a comment telling everyone your opinion.



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