Satellite Kills Taliban On Obama’s Orders *SATIRE*
Sep 24, 2011 Satire
A NASA Satellite the size of a bus fell to Earth in the wee hours of the morning breaking apart and mostly disintegrating in the atmosphere. A few dozen large parts fell to Earth and struck the leaders of the Taliban in Afghanistan. The terror group is in disarray and the loss of its leaders might mean an end to the group.
Barack Obama went on national television just after the deaths were confirmed to let the public know that at his direction, the NASA satellite was aimed for the Taliban in order to kill them. Obama indicated that it was his wise leadership that realized the satellite could be used to rid us of an enemy and he directed NASA to aim the orbiting space junk at the Taliban.
“Shortly after midnight (Eastern) a satellite from NASA was, under my orders, directed to land on Taliban leaders in Afghanistan. I knew this was a risky move because innocent civilians could have been killed but I thought the risk was worth the effort. Under my leadership, the Taliban leaders were killed by falling space junk thus saving taxpayer dollars on missiles and other ordnance. As with the take out of Bin Laden, I had complete control of everything going on and am confident that the world is a better place because of me. There were not enough pieces of the dead leaders to conduct a burial at sea”, Obama stated at the press conference. [Made up news dot com]
Asked if he intended to use other space junk as weaponry, Obama declined to answer citing national security.
Pundits expect the move to kill Taliban with space junk will give Obama a huge bump in the polls and lead him to a successful reelection in 2012.
**For all the liberals, the defunct Attack Watch, and Media Matters, this piece is satire.
Cave Canem!
Never surrender, never submit.
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The Obama BS Removal Kit
Jul 17, 2010 Satire
After 18 months of failure, high unemployment, and movement toward Socialism even some of the most ardent Obama supporters feel they were sold a bill of goods. Many of them foolishly put Obama bumper stickers on their cars (I say foolishly because it is foolish to put any bumper sticker on a car). Now many of them want to remove those bumper stickers so people will not know they are the ones who gave us this disaster in chief.
So a new product is on the market to help get those Obama Bumper Stickers (BS) off your car:
This looks like something that a lot of people could use about now.
Never surrender, never submit.
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Tags: bs remover, cars, Obama
Maybe Jupiter Suffers From Global Warming
The planet Jupiter has lost one of its stripes and scientists are trying to figure out why.
Jupiter has lost one of its iconic red stripes and scientists are baffled as to why.
The largest planet in our solar system is usually dominated by two dark bands in its atmosphere, with one in the northern hemisphere and one in the southern hemisphere.
However, the most recent images taken by amateur astronomers have revealed the lower stripe known as the Southern Equatorial Belt has disappeared leaving the southern half of the planet looking unusually bare.
The band was present in at the end of last year before Jupiter ducked behind the Sun on its orbit. However, when it emerged three months later the belt had disappeared. Daily Mail UK
Perhaps this is from global warming. The people of Jupiter, like those on Mars, have been using fossil fuels and driving their SUVs all over the place just gumming up the works and making stripes disappear.
Of course, since neither of these planets are inhabited it would be foolish to blame any kind of climate change on the problems they face with warming (Mars) or bands disappearing (Jupiter) because that would indicate that warming or climate change on a planet is not man-made.
The most likely explanation for the loss of the band is storm activity, activity that took place in the absence of man…
Though one cannot rule out that global warming is to blame. If we hurry, we might be able to get Gore, Pelosi, Frank, Kerry, Lieberman, Obama and a host of other warmers on a ship and send them to fix the problem.
One can only hope…
Never surrender, never submit.
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Tags: global warming, jupiter, mars
Actor, Obama Adviser, Fakes Robbery In PR Move
Apr 21, 2010 Satire
It has been reported that Obama adviser and actor Kal Penn (Kalpen Suresh Modi) was robbed at gunpoint in Washington DC near Dupont Circle sometime after midnight. Penn, who starred in House and the Harold and Kumar movies has obviously staged this to gain attention as he intends to leave DC and resume his acting career in a new Harold and Kumar Christmas movie.
Penn reports that the gunman got his wallet, cell phones, and other belongings but this must be fabricated.
Washington DC has a gun ban so a person with a gun could not have robbed him. Gun control laws, we are told, work so this could not have happened. If he wanted to be believed he should have left the part about the gun out. Everyone knows that people do not carry guns in DC. If they did Penn might have had a chance against the supposed gunman. Then again, maybe not. Liberals don’t carry guns, they negotiate…
Interestingly, there was a rally consisting of a bunch of gun owners who showed up near DC (in Virginia where carrying guns is legal) and despite all those loaded weapons and “angry” people, not a single shot was fired.
Penn is obviously well off so if this happened maybe he should not look at it as a robbery. He should look at it as the manifestation of his political beliefs. It was redistribution of wealth. The person who allegedly robbed him had less money so he just leveled the playing field.
The only difference between what happened to Penn and what happens to the rest of us is that the IRS does not use guns to steal our money and they do it in broad daylight.
Source:
Yahoo News
Never surrender, never submit.
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LGF – Charles Johnson 2010 Calendar
My friends at The Nose On Your Face have a great parody about Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs fame. Johnson has recently gone bonkers and is probably close to a nervous breakdown. The parody is a great piece that delves into Johnson’s weirdness.
The guys at the Nose On Your Face have brought us such great items as Islamic Rage Boy and Ahmed and the Chipmunks. And don’t forget Islamic Rage Boy sings “Infidels”.
Big Dog Salute to American Digest
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Tags: charles johnson, little green footballs, the nose on your face
