Old Butch
Jul 19, 2010 Humor
A little humor that is more reality than fiction…
John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
John’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring.
He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Saint Lawrence County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.
Vote carefully this fall, the bells are not always audible.
It is November or never folks…
Big Dog Salute to JP
Never surrender, never submit.
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Obama On The State Of The Union
Here is part of the Obama SOTU and his response:
You know, I think that Obama might be on to something.
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Tags: Obama, response, state of the union
LGF – Charles Johnson 2010 Calendar
My friends at The Nose On Your Face have a great parody about Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs fame. Johnson has recently gone bonkers and is probably close to a nervous breakdown. The parody is a great piece that delves into Johnson’s weirdness.
The guys at the Nose On Your Face have brought us such great items as Islamic Rage Boy and Ahmed and the Chipmunks. And don’t forget Islamic Rage Boy sings “Infidels”.
Big Dog Salute to American Digest
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Tags: charles johnson, little green footballs, the nose on your face
Bring Me The Head Of Michael Moore
Oct 26, 2009 Humor, Political, Satire
There is a new potential blockbuster on the horizon for Hollywood, and really, all anyone has to do is follow the porcine Michael Moore around with a camera (not too closely) for about three months- even leftists who support Chavez should be able to find Mr. Moore by then, and they are really dumb- look at who they support, while a formerly good and decent country is dragged down to third- world banana status.
It’s all about pride, and the perception that Hugo Chavez is something other than the idiot he seems to be- well, Chavistas can’t have that, so they attack anyone and anything that poses a problem for poor old Hugo. A jar of salsa can’t be opened by the great man? Line it up against a wall and shoot the top off. That’s one of their solutions to a resistance to Chavez. Third world banana republic tinpot dictators are like that, you know. Aw, shoot- I’m profiling again, aren’t I?
But they go further than that- Michael Moore’s comments on a Jimmy Kimmel show have made the Chavistas mad- he dared to portray El Gordo (the fat one) as less than God- like.
During a recent appearance on ABC’s late-night program “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Mr. Moore gave an account — apparently tongue in cheek — of how he drank a bottle-and-a-half of tequila with Mr. Chávez at the Venice Film Festival in September, and how he mistook Venezuela’s burly foreign minister, Nicolás Maduro, for a bodyguard.
Those comments have created an uproar here among some of Mr. Chávez’s loyal supporters, known as Chavistas.
nytimes.com
Goodness- such a slam- the Chavistas were furious, but not because of just that one comment- wait!- there’s more-
Ms. Golinger and other Chavistas took particular umbrage at Mr. Moore’s suggestion that he had imbibed with Mr. Chávez (the president is a noted teetotaler) while giving him some speechwriting advice. The advice, Mr. Moore said in the appearance, had been accepted.
Mr. Moore’s comments “about President Chávez asking him to ‘help’ write his United Nations speech demonstrate Moore’s extreme ego,” Ms. Golinger wrote.
“President Chávez is one of the most brilliant speakers in the world, with an immense capacity to bring together a variety of ideas while being coherent,” she added. “We know that nobody writes his speeches, not even him! He speaks from his heart, and not from a teleprompter!”
nytimes.com
Yes, Chavez’ words rain down from heaven, yada, yada, yada- Chavez is a blowhard, that much is true, and the people who follow him are clueless lemmings, but, as I said at the outset, we might have a documentary/ snuff film/ comedy/ thriller on our hands. Oh, to have a handle on all those genres, and demographics, and all we have to do is get a few cameras and follow Mr. Moore around- the Chavistas have such a fragile ego collectively, that they resemble the White House, so we can expect the attacks to commence very soon.
But here its not the Chicago Way- its the Caracas Way- and they will use assassination- oh, they will need armor- piercing ammo, in order to penetrate that layer of blubber he protects himself with. Mickey D’s make for good kevlar- like protection- all those chemicals and preservatives, you know.
Perhaps they will use a harpoon, but that might bring the wrath of Greenpeace upon them. Wouldn’t that be cool? And if the Sierra Club got in on the chase, figuring that he needed to be banded and studied, and his natural environment ( a padded room) should be protected. Imagine the cast of characters, the twists and turns!
This could be done with non- union labor, just like Michael Moore does- oh, the irony, as we capture the final moments of his life, I can hear the cheering in the theaters. Doctors will be in the theaters during the last five minutes! Those who are weak of heart should not attend, for fear that the joy might be too much.
And just think- for once in his life, Chavez might actually have done something positive for this world and the environment.
I am sure however, the Venezuelans would stake a claim on Moore’s fat body, and designate it as an alternative energy source.
After all, whale oil used to be all the rage.
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Tags: chavez, el gordo, insults, michael moore, reality
Group- Think
Oct 22, 2009 Humor, Opinion, Political
I have wondered for some time if there is a bunker somewhere in an undisclosed location (let’s ask Joe Biden- he knows), where there are troll- like little liberal roaches, failed Dungeons & Dragons web users who ravenously consume potato chips and power bars, all while parroting the lastest talking points disseminated by Emanual & co. It seems there are perhaps ten of them, all out of shape, with acne and other skin problems related to a lack of sunshine- I think Rimbo and friends keep their little Computer attack dogs in shackles, or perhaps have them on mind- altering drugs- how else to explain the blind adherence to illogical and unworkable talking points.
The first key to understanding the cadre of mindless drones the WH has on computers, is the limited language they use.
They remind me of high school freshmen, so eager to fit in that they all eagerly use the same words, as if they are the keys to the secret club that they so desperately want to belong to. This is truly an echo chamber, and it doesn’t seem to be a big deal to these little lilliputian minds that they all parrot the same words- “Howler” is one biggie- everyone on the left uses this word as if- (maybe Barry used this word at one time- lets do the same)- this word carries some magical connotation. (“This word renders conservatives powerless- use this one as much as possible.”)
It doesn’t seem to matter what publication one reads- if it is liberal, it will have these words “liberally” sprinkled throughout.
Or, “Roasted”- perhaps these liberal critics of logic once worked at a Quiznos, and can’t get that word out of their mind- now, that word bounces around the echo chamber that is their collective mind. I can’t wait for one of them to slip and ask if we want fries with that lack of logic, or we want to supersize that argument.
And then there are the biggest echo words- “racist” and “bigot”- if you poke one of these invertebrates with a stick, it will automatically bark one of these two words, like a trained seal without the cuteness ( more like a six foot leech that feeds off of taxpayer money).
At this “Undisclosed” location, like the whacko scientists Holdren and Emanual are, they are developing a new lifeform- a computer supergeek, capable of writing illogical party talking points at super speed. They then plug them in and let them counter the conservative blogs using limited language, groupthink, and fueled by massive infusions of gummy worms and Jolt Cola or Red Bull.
Logic is useless against them- it just bounces off of their misshapen heads, covered with the electrodes that Holdren and Zekie boy have surgically implanted. They even give these poor life forms names and a false history. Perhaps they allow some of them to believe they can actually tune a piano and herd goats- a rather dubious duo of talents, but then if that’s what it takes to keep them complacent, oh well. For others, the implanted memories need not be that complicated.
I fear for our Republic when there are so many captive mind slaves employed by the WH- I mean, how can one stand against the combined mind power of these people when they equal a 100 watt bulb? Can we fight these masters of illogic? Will we withstand the blind adherence of party line propaganda? The total verboseness of their writings? A dysentery of nouns and adjectives?
Will we simply lay on the floor, gasping from laughing at their weak arguments? I know I will.
Because now I can tell, the opposition is few, but vocal.
And I can handle vocal- I can use the humor.
Bring it on, mindless drones.
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Tags: Gulliver, man scientists, mind control, trolls
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