Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)

I don’t know if this is real but it is true regardless. The letter is reportedly from a Maryland resident to his (now retiring) Senator, Paul Sarbanes.

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin
Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

Will Rogers says, “Just be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.”

I have received this from several people so a Big Dog salute goes out to all who have sent this to me.

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2 Responses to “Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)”

  1. Bosun says:

    Big Dog,

    When my son lost his job and went through financial hell. During his unemployment, my son told me that if he was illegal, he could have received medical treatment and not paid back a dime and could have received social services assistance and other benefits. My son works in the food service industry and has know a lot of illegals. They joke about it. He was going to just say he was illegal. Of course he did not lie about his status. Fortunately my son found a job and struggled back financially from dire straits.

    I think that loyal Constituent, Pete McGlaughlin, is not far off the mark on when he said. As the Dems move us closer to a socialist state, the few will pay for the many. Does not seem fair does it?


  2. Charles Bolhem says:

    Dear Big Dog :

    Well your request to become an illegal allien can be granted if you are willing to to choose among two options.

    Option 1

    You should travel to any Latin American Country lets say for example Argentina. Once you arrive to the airport (because I don’t think you will dare to cross by the border like most ilegal alliens do) you will destroy your passport. Also you should not take any money with you. Then you will start looking for a place to stay and a job. Since I don’t think you speak spanish, you will be oriented to look for jobs where you do not need to talk. Pick up the gargabe, washing dishes or cleaning public restrooms, also you can be hired to clean the roads, picking up all the dead animals and the trash people throw away. If you are lucky you can also get a job at the morge, helping carrying the dead bodies. Later if you become skilled and learn a little spanish you can be promoted to keep inventory of the body parts that are kept there waiting for its owner.
    In other word you will be destined to performs the jobs most normal people do not like to do. Also wou will earn the minimun wage, so you will have to work 12 to 16 hours per day. The good thing is that you wont pay taxes. Hardly you will be able to see you family again unless you return to the USA some day or move your family to Argentina. In other words you will start a new life in Argentina and you will need to change your way of living but you wont pay taxes and you will be entitled to be attended in a public hospital. Because you dont have papers you will have problem in obtaning a driver’s license so you can get a driver job. Without spanish you wont be able to get a job as a pizza delivery or waiter or cashier in a supermarket.

    Option 2

    You can stay in the USA and do not pay taxes and be attended in a public hospital but you have to work in the jobs most illegal alliens do. Your wife will have to work as a maid, your children will never go to a Chukie Cheese. You and you family never will go to Disney World or will be entitled to travel in a plane, just buses from Greyhound. You will be destined to drive an old car because you wont be able to afford a new one like most americans do. Also you can not have a Private health Insurance and if you have a life insurance you will have to cancel your policy. If you own a House you will have to live with the fear that you will loose anytime because you bought it with fake papers. You will have to live with fear like illegal alliens do, watch out before going to a supermarket, or a public place because the migra can be there in a raid. You will earn the minimun wage. No credit cards, hardly a bank account. You will have to pay a monthly fee because you wont have direct deposit.
    But not everything is bad, you will have a chance to meet and honest American that can help you in getting your papers and be a green card holder some day, so you can pay your taxes and have a decent health insurance.

    Well if you still want to be an illegal allien send me a email to help you out.

    PS: I was forgetting to tell you that if you look back , your ancestors were illegal alliens too. Maybe your grandfather or his father came to this country as illegal alliens.
    Remember that the earth is round-shape and it rotates all the time. Sometimes you are above sometimes you are below ……………..